Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize