Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
