should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
