it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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