i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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