I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
