are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
