I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
