he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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