I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
