I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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