Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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