do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I understand Curling. That high.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
