I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
And then he peed in my hair
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