she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
