haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize