craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
