I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize