I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it's like iHOP with fire
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
