I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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