So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
