i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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