Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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