yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i dont even know how to be here
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
