Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
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if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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