How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
