Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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  (205): I only kidnapped one of them. chill http://tfl.nu/ogw5
  Replies (10) Good night (3093) Bad night (795)
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  (408): View more from California

  she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

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  (408): she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again http://tfl.nu/k557
  Replies (41) Good night (706) Bad night (5881)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (820) Bad night (4229)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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  (302): He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before. http://tfl.nu/latf
  Replies (13) Good night (1023) Bad night (4336)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette

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  (339): I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette http://tfl.nu/67ko
  Replies (22) Good night (6125) Bad night (1670)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.

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  (405): Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/852v
  Replies (6) Good night (3326) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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  (732): I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach. http://tfl.nu/2w13
  Replies (8) Good night (2669) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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  (973): I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/8wfu
  Replies (10) Good night (2120) Bad night (625)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face

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  (541): Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face http://tfl.nu/zdd8
  Replies (11) Good night (2162) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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  (774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14
  Replies (8) Good night (1643) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it

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  (740): I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it http://tfl.nu/5fqw
  Replies (14) Good night (1622) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude

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  (609): I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude http://tfl.nu/hndb
  Replies (10) Good night (1192) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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  (606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him

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  (951): I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him http://tfl.nu/3cah
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.

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  (281): We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron. http://tfl.nu/cli2
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (339)

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