Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

  (1-415): View more from California

  What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

  (415): View more from California

  He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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  (415): And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!" (1-415): What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy. (415): He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie." http://tfl.nu/chbe
  Replies (27) Good night (1036) Bad night (9712)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.

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  (678): Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too. http://tfl.nu/ijhr
  Replies (45) Good night (7667) Bad night (1024)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???

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  (702): If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy??? http://tfl.nu/4rkp
  Replies (30) Good night (748) Bad night (4896)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.

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  (410): I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him. http://tfl.nu/mi5e
  Replies (5) Good night (568) Bad night (1879)
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  (631): View more from New York

  does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?

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  (631): does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you? http://tfl.nu/fswy
  Replies (6) Good night (1529) Bad night (699)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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  (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0
  Replies (3) Good night (2118) Bad night (567)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (917) Bad night (497)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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  (816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2791) Bad night (357)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"

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  (971): no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack" http://tfl.nu/ruay
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (873)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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  (248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn
  Replies (6) Good night (1222) Bad night (339)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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  (814): If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right? http://tfl.nu/wp41
  Replies (3) Good night (450) Bad night (360)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.

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  (956): I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/82qh
  Replies (0) Good night (244) Bad night (352)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".

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  (443): I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send". http://tfl.nu/jpis
  Replies (6) Good night (1352) Bad night (265)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.

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  (918): I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now. http://tfl.nu/hh6j
  Replies (4) Good night (282) Bad night (500)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"

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  (330): You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!" http://tfl.nu/8fdl
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (250)

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