HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
