then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.