I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
