I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
