Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there's paper in my vomit.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
