he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
