Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize