batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
