I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
