smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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