god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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