I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
