I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
now i know why i became what i already was.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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