He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
