let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
