Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
