I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
