there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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