You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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