its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
