Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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