took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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