Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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