So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
