my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
