ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize