oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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