...so i touched it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!