did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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