So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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