ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
