Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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