why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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