trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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