u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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