Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
