I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's shark week go big or go home
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
