if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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