Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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